With so many people affected, Levindale is publishing a book* for caregivers who are beginning this complicated, sometimes overwhelming journey. Here is an excerpt:
“When It’s a Crisis”
“Not everyone involved in elder care has the luxury of time. Accidents happen, situations arise and, before you know where to turn, someone is asking you to make a decision about something that you never wanted to consider. When “elder care” becomes “elder crisis,” and your loved one is rushed to the emergency room, tough choices have to be made quickly. Letting go of perfection, self-criticism and self-doubt will help you move forward. Care giving is an art, not a science. As difficult as it may seem, try not to let guilt influence your decisions.
Make sure you know your loved one’s blood type, allergies, chronic conditions and medications, and take all of that information to the hospital as soon as possible. That may be the only way to protect against negative drug interactions, especially if your parent is not fully coherent.
Most elders who are admitted to the hospital need further care once the immediate crisis is resolved. If a loved one is hospitalized, don’t wait until the day of discharge to begin thinking about the future. Hospitals employ professionals who specialize in discharge planning. Start talking to them as soon as possible about what will be needed after the hospital stay.
Talk to doctors as well (don’t forget to write down their names and the date of every conversation) about what type of continuing care, if any, your elder may need. Ask frank questions such as, “Is it possible my loved one may be required to go into a nursing home?” Many nursing homes offer short-term and rehabilitation services. Ask physicians what situation would be best. Ask specific questions about elder care, especially practical matters such as toilet use and bathing, medical equipment, insurance and how to hire home health care workers.
“People need support during the transition to a nursing home or other facility,” notes Doris Randall, LCSW-C, director of Social Work at Levindale Hebrew Geriatric Center and Hospital. “Usually, older people have experienced trauma that has taken them from their homes, and they’re not sure if they'll be able to go back to their independent living.” That uncertainty can create fear and stubbornness or a reluctance to face reality, so treat them carefully and lovingly. “Be as truthful as appropriate with elders when discussing transitions,” Randall continues. Take into account what a loved one can handle cognitively.
Crisis Checklist
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Introduce yourself to doctors and nurses. Make friends with hospital personnel. Find out when doctors will be on rounds so you don’t miss them. Doctors want to help you; don’t be afraid to say, I don't understand. |
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In a crisis, it’s not always possible to remember details. Try to have a friend accompany you to appointments with the medical professionals caring for your loved ones. Ask for their feedback. |
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Keep a pen and pad handy to write down important information such as telephone numbers, doctors’ names, medications, etc. |
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Collect and organize business cards. Keep photocopies with you. |
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Get multiple copies of medical records before the patient is discharged; you will need these for follow-up visits. Keep at least one copy for your own records. |
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If permitted by a physician, bring loved ones’ their favorite foods and drinks to make a hospital or nursing home stay more pleasant. Bring a robe or clothes from home, but keep jewelry and other valuable items for them. Do not leave items of value at hospitals or other facilities. |
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If you are spending prolonged periods at a hospital with a loved one, consider speaking with a chaplain or spiritual counselor. |
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Take care of yourself. Take frequent breaks and time-outs. Don’t make decisions without proper rest -- lack of sleep and stress don’t make for clearheaded thinking. Some hospitals offer “family rooms” for greater privacy. Be sure to ask if cots or overnight sleeping arrangements are available. |
*This book is yet to be titled.
Related Links:
Levindale Hebrew Geriatric Center and Hospital
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